Don't Give up

This has been a strange week. I think about how badly I wish I could see the girl I am going to be a year from now. When all that I see everyday doesn’t shock me or cause my eyes to widen. Or the greatest lesson of late…. “being alone….” I wonder why I ever thought coming alone was going to be “fine.” Some of the jobs we could apply for had to have 2 people, why didn’t I chose one of those?!
All of these thoughts have been spurred mainly by too much thinking, which in return there has been too much time to think. You see, my language teacher is out having an operation, and her replacement hasn’t shown up yet. So I find myself wasting away my days. It really hasn’t been THAT bad, but its been defiantly challenging.
I recently purchased the latest Shawn McDonald CD. The last few albums he has put out have been mediocre but this one…. WOW! I can’t stop playing it. Several songs speak to me, but one in particular is called “Don’t give up.” I’m sure when he wrote this song, a girl living in a third world country wasn’t on his mind, I certainly appreciate his lyrics.

“ Don’t give up, don’t give up, hold on for one more day. I’ve come too far, I’ve seen too much, heard the call, and felt the touch I’ve tasted love and I can not deny!”

Now don’t get my wrong, I know this is where I supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing, its just the challenge I am facing right now. Taking myself to lunch, combating the grocery store or better yet the local veggie market, treating myself to a movie, or ice cream. All of these are things I had no problem doing in the states but here in Tanzania I find myself crippled.
Today I made leaping strides as I packed up my kindle and went to my favorite restaurant. Mzungus frequent there so I knew I’d not be bothered (some TZ restaurants let people off the streets come in a sell you things, so annoying) then I walked around their homemade art sections, I wanna buy everything! But I kept it to 2 pillow cases and a new bag for the beach. I needed to go to get stuffing for the inside of the pillows so I got out the trusty map and found where I needed to go. Veggie market is always a fun outing and I needed to go, also a good place to practice Kiswahili. Over all I feel good about getting out, hopefully Ill have a language teacher tomorrow though...