Language Wall

It comes like a thief in the night. When you least expect it, it hits you! Even when everything is going fine, people are even telling you “ you are speaking well…” I have hit what I like to call the “Language Wall.” I didn’t know that this would happen, but I really don’t think there is truly a way one can be prepared for it. It happens to all of us, about the 2nd month. Yesterday in language, I got so frustrated I wanted to cry. I did even want to think or say anything. I tried to pull myself together to at least get thru the class. For those of you who know me, I don’t hide things very well. My teacher could tell something was wrong. I was tired, cranky, and uncooperative. After the lesson, I just ran to my room and cried. I wanted it to all go away. Thoughts like….” Why am I not getting this?, I should know this by now!, I need to study more!....” It’s crippling. Today I wasn’t much better. Even in my quiet time before class I begged God to give me a better attitude. Today I was talking to a fellow missionary telling her of my recent troubles, and she said it was completely normal. This is a vicious cycle we all go through in learning language. This is a depression phase that we have to muddle thru. She said next month, I’ll start to get better, the language will come more easily and even dreaming in Kiswahili. I am not one to even like normal school, so kila siku Kiswahili is killing me. Pray for my endurance and my poor teacher who has to put up with my attitude.